Sunday, March 3, 2019
Britney Spears or Spear Britney
Manufactured bands have brought us just about fab solo acts in the fashion of Mr Keating, and Robbie. W present would the screaming girlies be with out them? J17 magazine.The truth is as long as they arnt screaming and wafture their underwear eachwhere near me I dont h whizstly have a problem with wee-boppers. Of course I do it the occasional joke nigh some larger than life band with a talent itemise of minus 50 save they dont aggravate me as much you powerfulness think. Ignorance is bliss simply if I HAD to rant nearly anything it would be only close to manufactured and their medicine. And so to suffice the rant re ally good I might as hale exaggerate some of my views and thoughts to defecate me see like a true cynic and hater of all that is pop.So I sat in my room staring at my CD collection, tos babble out forward the couple that dont do me proud. So with my Ricky Martin and Spice Girls album on cardinal side (carefully poised on the desk, teetering dangerous ly ever soyplace the bin) and my System Of A Down and Blink 182 on the other I sat down to publish this article.OK. Ever stop to think about how much hormonally-charged energy you puzzle into the quick quips and biting banter? Your life would be considerably more(prenominal) cultivable if you took some, whats that word again, oh thats it action. Im non suggesting that you incinerate some fresh teeny-boppers. at that place are laws against it. Yep redden in that state of the US. But if youre so ply up of manufactured bands and this article awakes the rebel in you, then I say Go Forth, join a band and top the charts OK fine maybe its not that thriving solely its more productive than bitchin about the manufactured lot with your mates.In this world of MTV soundbites (we are not worthy) and insanely uncreative lyrics, the manufactured band and the manufactured singer thresh rampant They are people who are pooled together, not because they excel musically, only because the ir looks and psycheality can be pigeon-holed to fit a type cute, funny, naughty, or bracey. Its just that simple. Musical passion is generally becoming a weaken art, with most people in it for nothing more than the m oney and the quick-fix of fame. Fame, you see, very(prenominal) rarely comes from the strength of the music.A few years ago, Britney Spears exploded onto the scene. Her vestal yet strangely flirty lyrics had paedophiles across the world intrigued. Here was a 16 year old girl who loved Jesus Christ, sung about being hit and claimed to be a virgin. It was all sofan-bl**dy-tastic.Britney went on to merchandise lots of records, preach Satans teachings and get to wear increasingly skimpy outfits in her music videos. With this much success, the clones were bound to follow. And, lo and behold, they did. Christina Aguilera was the first to jump on the pink-coated bandwagon, and one of many to ride Carson Dalys gear-stick to TRL glory. The girl could certainly sing, but she was the blondest Hispanic in history, and the most annoying anorexic this side of Ally McBeal. They became more and more annoying. Is that humanly possible? I hear you say but as I say if in doubt turn to the merry U S of A. Enter Mandy Moore. Moore was about 12 and could barely even howler well. She sang a air about missing a goofball like candy, which is just plain sad. Nobody misses anyone like candy. I wonder what Id miss my pin-ups like after my brains are gobbled by the undead teeny boppers. Mmmm..The manufactured craze is continuing as I write this dread-filled article. greasy men across the industry are lining their pockets and making an dogmatic mint from girls who dream about cute guys and Dawson. Why is it so great? Well its not because its so cutting edge. Its because girls are insecure. And popular socialisation capitalises on that. Girls think maybe if I go out and procure that new lipstick, Ill fit in. Or maybe if I watch this salute or listen to that mu sic, Ill be popular. I mean, look round you instantaneously (thats right just blatantly stare at them), every one of these girls is incredibly insecure. You cant even speak your mind anymore without stomping on somebodys feelings. You make a Five break up joke and the teeny-boppers have a fit. You make a Two Pac (deceased) joke and the Hip-Hop posse good-hearted raise their middle finger. And any comments of Marilyn Mansons femininity will have Satanists swarming around threatenin to send the forces of evil to your abode.In the States, songs about coming on over and getting hit in the organization are all the rage. In Britain, the flavour is love. If youre ever making a boyband, be sure they sing songs about love and sex. If youre objectning on making a girl group, make sure they sing songs about love and sex. Really its not that hard. The dudes on Popstars make it look so hard. However, if you plan on plucking an underage girl from school (and there are laws against it) in the hopes that youll create the next Britney, make sure she sings songs about genies in bottles and being unvirginised.As I was surfin the wonderful net and followin the proverbial yellow brick road to all that is fake(with a capital F ladies and gentlemen) I discovered that Britain is just as bad as the States in terms of manufactured bands. Theres a deep-seated history involved in the art of making boybands. In the seventies, the Bay City Rollers were all the rage. Essentially, they were ugly Scottish dudes who wore Tartan costumes (kilt-like but not quite) and sang really badly (they have sound clips on the site.sayin they sing badly is like saying o the natural rubber is a bit chilly). But the teenyboppers loved them, simply because the machine adroit them to love them. Its like that mind-washing scene in A Clockwork Orange. waxen kids are force-fed a cocktail of bland music, and few of them have the intellectual tools or inquisitive nature, and think to themselves erwhy. Well, its very simple. These guys make money, and the formula is easy to reproduce. And people will cloud anything if its well-packaged.Sheep. BAAAABest not to think about it too much. It hurts my b r a i n position is, these bands make great money for their producers, all by living up to a fallacious image. Its easy money, and while the fat cats grow obese, were the ones who are losing out. Because when genuinely talented performers fail to come up a niche in the busy marketplace, well be overcome with these beasts.Ill be honest, though. I like a wide range of music. Sometimes Ill be blown away (OK, hooked) by a boyband tune or maybe Ill even shock myself and buy the track(id like to stress that this is not a frequent occurrence, and any tracks I do waste my money on tend to be incinerated by some Satanist folk that hang around these parts.)OK, permit me be completely honest I prefer rock/ sleazy music to virtually any other type of music (yes, even opera). Now, I like a lot of respe cted artists as well and I think I have fairly good savor when it comes to rating music, but theres something alluring about Pop. Im not saying the music is necessarily good, but it is very effective. I realise that its manufactured, that its sugary and the song lyrics are dud, but tell me you yourself havent caught the Pop bug at some point. These songs linger in your mind, even more so than Papa band screaming about how much life sucks and how we should all die. Not dissin PRoach or anythingCoby, Dude, You RuleThat strange mixture of superficial positivity and cynical market works for some. Not me, but it does for someahh an outcast yet again. But while I wont admit too vehemently that I en delight cheesy pop ballads, Id like to celebrate some of the manufactured artists here in this article where no-one in real life will ever know.Our group up for discussion isWestlife, or using their pronunciation, Westloife.Flying without goEverybodys looking for a somethingOne thing that makes it all completeYoull find it in the strangest placesPlaces you never knew it could beSome find it in the face of their childrenSome find it in their lovers eyesWho can deny the joy it bringsWhen youve found that special thingYoure passing without wingsThis is Westlifes entry into the we condone drug usage halls of chart history. I know that Im only flying without wings after ten too many beers (so thats 10 beers in total yea). Its obvious that these depraved young men are every promoting illegal substances (S club Seven wannabes) or singing about love. Whichever way you look at it, the song is pretty damn kooky. All right, its saccharine and touching. This sucks.And to conclude.o wait someones at the door. Abruptly stands knocking Ricky and Spice-eys into the bin. Looks out windowpaneAnd now Ive been called away by a knock at my door. And the person knocking is a God-lover telling me I need the light of God. Ive been ideaGod is a lot like a boyband. People go on about him 24/7 and plaster his posters on their bedrooms, but has he ever written his own tracks?